There are several basic misunderstandings, including that ‘men have the best of it’during sex because they are guaranteed the stimulation they need to reach orgasm inside the vagina (considered as their ‘drive’, that is, they ‘need’ to ejaculate inside the vagina) -- such are our current fixed ideas about ‘male sexuality’. Another misunderstanding involves thinking that male sexuality is not delicate, but that ‘a real man’is rather like an automatic machine, that is, his erection should be big, hard and long-term whenever he needs it to be -- leading quite a few men of all ages to rely on drugs to ensure that they have this kind of erection, since it is delicate and can come and go -- whereas ‘a real man’ should be ‘ready to fuck’ whenever an appropriate situation arises (it is believed). But -- what if he does not feel like it? For a long time, many men have complained about the ‘performance pressures’ on them, but somehow the myths continue to be believed by both men and women that ‘a big erection’ is the only real sign of desire, or as the saying goes, ‘you can never change il programma maschile’. No one seems to be questioning the veracity of these fixed ideas about male sexuality, but based on my many years research with over 7,000 men followed by several years’reflection on what they have said, I now question these ‘verities’. I think the real nature of male sexuality is much more polymorphous-perverse and diverse than we have tended to believe.