Unwillingness is a fairly common misinterpretation of a child who does not know what is expected from him, does not know any better or who is incapable to perform. Behaviour to communicate distress can get overlooked and a communicative element can get over-rated. Recursive reciprocal dysfunctional interactions can ensue when the behaviour remains misinterpreted.

To illustrate a few groups of misinterpretations from conversations with children.

Any child with behaviour difficulties is assessed on his view of behaviour (ongoing assessment).

For the assessment drawings, diagrams, projective, open and hypothetical questions.Role play is also used to help the child identify with the situation.

83 children, including children with a learning disability and autism, age range6-16 years displayed opposition, challenging behaviour and self-harm. 52 had autism, one additional one was examined by Mum. 28 children had a diagnosis of ADHD All 7 children with oppositional behaviour had autism. Only 4 self-harmers were examined. 8 children with autism articulated problems respecting rules. All other children except for one young person with deliberate self-harm (+autism) explained their behaviour as a offloading and communicative. 6 described their behaviour solely as stress relief’. Adolescents without autism articulated their need to anger their parents for letting them down’. 16 articulated specific learning problems.

Behaviour problems can be a substitute for expressing emotions communicatively in children who have insufficient emotional language repertoire. The offloading behaviour does not necessary have a communicative element. Their behaviour can be a result of deficient skills.